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BREXIT complications
07-01-2020, 04:49 PM (This post was last modified: 07-01-2020 06:31 PM by Warri the Wombat.)
Post: #1
BREXIT complications
A long story on Twitter that illustrates unforeseen consequences to UK residents who keep a holiday house in France, Spain etc. I found it amusing enough to share.

Quote:Just had conversation with a British couple who have a holiday home near us. They voted for Brexit and have made no arrangements whatsoever for what happens on Jan 1. They have now discovered the reality of their situation. The blame apparently is with "Brussels".

Quick follow up to this:
They have always assumed I am British and only recently discovered I have dual nationality. When I told them and revealed all my EU rights were protected I was told that was, "very unfair" and "typical of the EU"

Further follow up.
Their son (lives in UK, uses house for holidays) called me at lunchtime. "Is this true what those bastards in Brussels are doing to my parents?, we'll see about that. They have no right to treat us that way"

My wife has just spoken with the lady of the couple in question.
She is in tears as she has just today realised the full extent of what is going to happen. They had planned on retiring here in about five years when her husband retired but no longer. They will now have to sell.

The son has been back on, it seems he will be, "Taking this to the top" I have no idea what that means. He's not going to be "pushed around" by 'Brussels' and he's spoken to his friends at work who all agree with him. Seems this is the EU bullying his parents and being vindictive toward British people because they are jealous of Brexit. My only reply was, "Well ok then".

Received a largely incoherent message from the idiot son via WhatsApp. Says that my wife and I are 'part of the problem', wants to know what we are doing to help, should have warned his parents, Farage was right, (not sure what about), something about the War, the Empire etc.

Latest Development:
The wife called my wife again. More tears, seems the idiot son has been shouting at his work about this and has been sent home to cool off. Meanwhile they have made the decision to sell the house and have asked if could help with viewings. We have said yes.

O Christ
Another call, this time from the son. He's decided to come over next week and "sort this all out with the Mayor" I tried to explain that it's nothing to do with our Mayor and that this is down to the UK leaving the EU. He said he didn't vote for Brexit to have this.

I said he needs to take the time to understand what Brexit means but he will not listen. I told him he will need to wear a mask when here. Surprise, surprise he, "Doesn't believe in them". I doubt he can get a Channel crossing so he probably will not make it.

Long email from the original couple.
They are very angry. Feel they have been lied to (not sure if they mean me or the UK government) and want "compensation" (again not sure who from). Want me to write a letter confirming they knew nothing about the effects of Brexit.

The icing on the cake has been delivered.
WhatsApp message from the idiot son. He is saying he has a Eurostar crossing for Thursday and will be here late Thursday night after taking the TGV from Paris. He asked if I can collect him from the railway station.

OK although I was tempted to collect him she who must be obeyed has put her Gallic foot down and made me say no. I have also dropped a text to our Mayor who immediately phoned me roaring with laughter. He has promised a crack team of Gendarmes will be on standby just in case.

That's it for the day. My wife has prepared canard à l'orange and she will be angry if it gets cold. Good evening.

Brief update as so many asked
The duck was excellent, my wife is a brilliant cook.
I had creme brulee for pudding
The story is true and that is how it happened today
Our dog is now asleep
I promise to update the story as it develops

Idiot son has been drinking.
Just called me via WhatsApp.
I am his best friend

Overnight update:
An email from the couple once again asking about compensation (from France, the EU, the UK, it's not clear? )
Second email asking to look after their son when he arrives (in the Mafia sense?)

WhatApp message from idiot son reading,
"Hgbyot you & the french"

Excellent Development. A WhatsApp message I had missed from the idiot son. He has said he will be ...... (drum roll)..... "talking to Nigel Farage about this".

Having read the email in detail over breakfast I can now offer a precis.
They want compensation from someone
They do not know how much they want
They do not know why they should get it
They do not know who should pay it
They do know it's not their fault (for some reason)

Brief WhatsApp message from idiot son.
"Sorry about last night, I'd had a drink"
Is this for me or what else did he do last night ?

New message.
He wants to know if the Mayor could be "squared away with a "good drink" and if he was open to a "deal". I again said the Mayor is not who he needs and that this is all an EU matter, I suggested he contact Ursula von der Leyen. He asked if I have her number.

I have spoken to our Mayor's wife (Mayor is out having lunch). She says after knowing him for thirty years he could be probably be corrupted if a date with Vanessa Paradis could be delivered as part of the deal.

Email from the Father
"My son is coming over to sort all this out. We all feel this is very unfair and we have been badly treated. We have paid our taxe d’habitation and we have rights. The French should not be allowed to do this, please help us in our fight to put this right.

The son has confirmed his train. Arrives at Bordeaux Saint-Jean Station 1856 local time on Thursday. He is then hiring a car and will be with us around 9pm. He will stay at his parents house and has a meeting with the Mayor for 10am Friday morning.

To add a certain je ne sais quoi the Mayor will maintain during the meeting that he speaks only French. I know idiot son only speaks English. I have offered to attend and "translate".

New message from idiot son.
If all this can be "fixed" on Friday he says he will take my wife and I out for a "bloody good dinner". I am not sure if it is in the power for a regional French Mayor to fix Brexit but we shall see, he's a bright guy.

New message from the Father. He's asking me to "look after" his son when he's here. This is the second time he's requested this. It's possible he's asking for the Corleone option.

We have a new character !
I just received a WhatsApp from idiot son's boss asking me to confirm the visit on Thursday and Friday is for "an urgent family matter". I have not yet replied.

WhatsApp message from idiot son.
"Please tell my boss I have to come to France for urgent family business". I have now just discovered he works as a tyre fitter.

I have called his boss and told him the truth, that I am trying to help his parents and that he wants to meet with a French Mayor to try and get an exception for his parents from Brexit. He said, "He's always been a f*cking spanner".

He's got permission to come
His boss just sent me a message saying, "If he wants to waste his holiday time on this it's up to him. He's a complete plank if he thinks it will make any difference though, typical" . Hold your breath everyone, he will be here tomorrow.

Idiot son has sent me a message thanking me for persuading his boss! He has asked me if there is anything he can bring me from the UK. I've requested HP Sauce.

The Mayor is with us here, he has dropped in for a small apéro. It seems the entire Mayor's office is now following this. He has no idea how they are all going to keep straight faces when 'you know who' turns up on Friday. One lady has switched her day off to be there.

The family have got themselves a lawyer and he's presumably from the Lionel Hutz law school as he has said he sees "no reason" why an individual exception to Brexit rules couldn't be applied to them. He has asked to call me as the their "local representative".

Edit - additional tweets

WhatsApp from idiot son
He's googled the Mayor and seen he is a Rugby fan. Wants to know if Six Nations tickets would "smooth him up".
I have advised idiot son that bribing an official in France is a serious matter.
He said, "The French have always liked a bung, that's how the Channel Tunnel got made."

To be continued?

If anyone has the time, there is much comment and discussion below all of this about what Brits who enjoyed free access to the EU didn't realise would be affect them after BREXIT. Retirement plans to France or Spain being just one unforeseen complication.

"It's great Matt Canavan is selling Kodak cameras but the reality is the iPhone is coming"
- Matt Kean NSW Minister for Energy & Environment.
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07-01-2020, 06:46 PM
Post: #2
RE: BREXIT complications
That's going to come as a massive disruption to a big portion of the aging Pommy demographic.

Judging from TV shows from the UK Spain/France region seem to be selling about 1 third of their crumbling real estate to Poms ... and Italy and Greece selling theirs to Americans.

Why do I find it hard to sympathise with aging Pommies?

That was quite a funny read btw. appreciate updates if you get them.
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07-01-2020, 07:01 PM
Post: #3
RE: BREXIT complications
He is a writer so he has a succinct but funny style.

"It's great Matt Canavan is selling Kodak cameras but the reality is the iPhone is coming"
- Matt Kean NSW Minister for Energy & Environment.
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07-01-2020, 08:40 PM
Post: #4
RE: BREXIT complications
Ahhh, it shows.
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07-02-2020, 12:02 AM (This post was last modified: 07-02-2020 12:14 AM by Warri the Wombat.)
Post: #5
RE: BREXIT complications
It may all be a wind up but there are lots of people from different countries eagerly waiting for the meeting with the mayor. I am one of them.

There are a few new tweets but he is keeping everyone in suspenders, so to speak

Quote:I have a call with the lawyer at lunchtime.

Quick message from idiot son's boss.
"Do keep an eye on him for me. He has a habit of getting into trouble. Last year he fell off a bridge in Hemel Hempstead"

Suggested to lawyer we talk via Skype, he said, "I'm not keen on that sort of thing". I don't know what to make of that.

I suggested Microsoft Teams but he said, "Same problem, once the camera is on, it's on for ever. Then they can watch you". I'm not sure who "they" are.

Good news the lawyer is not a nutcase just a man who prefers traditional phone calls. Seems he worked on a privacy case some year ago and there was evidence of cameras being turned on without permission. Phew - was worried for a moment. Call in 5 minutes to discuss.

OK this may take a while to go through so expect multiple posts.
The lawyer is for real and a nice reasonable man who has known the father for some time.. He was confused as to why I was involved, I said I was too.

He had been told I was their local "legal expert", I made clear I'm not and have no involvement in this. Then he said, "
Well I think you are involved now". He will not discuss his conversation with the family for obvious reasons but did say that should another client ask for his advice on this matter the chances of obtaining an exception were zero. Speaking to a mayor would make no difference. I told him about the bribery conversation. He said,""O God not again". I then told him about idiot son's visit tomorrow, there was a long period of silence. and then he said, "He's a man of various talents but he needs watching".

Message from son, he's heard I know about the bridge incident. Said, "It was not my fault that was down to Darren and his obsession with road signs".
So many questions.......

On his facebook page
"Off to France tomorrow to sort out stuff for my parents house. Not going to let some Frogs push my family around, Brexit is about not letting them push us around anymore. Might have to go to Brussels as well if they no listen. Wish me luck. "

"It's great Matt Canavan is selling Kodak cameras but the reality is the iPhone is coming"
- Matt Kean NSW Minister for Energy & Environment.
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07-02-2020, 09:01 AM
Post: #6
RE: BREXIT complications
Great stuff. I'm reminded of the Amazon Reviews. Remember those? Hilarious series of assessments of products that had the world laughing. From memory they were written in similar style.

Found one about a huge beach ball.

Quote:"A fun way to ruin a weekend and blow 100 bucks.

We took this ball to the beach after it took almost two hours to pump it up. We got to push it around for about 10 fun-filled minutes.
That was when the wind picked up and sent it hurdling down the beach at about 40 knots. It destroyed everything in its path.
Children screamed in terror at the giant inflatable monster that crushed their sand castles.
Grown men were knocked down trying to save their families.
The faster we chased it, the faster it rolled. It was like it was mocking us.
Eventually, we had to stop running after it because its path of injury and destruction was going to cost us a fortune in legal fees.

Rumor has it that it can still be seen stalking innocent families on the Florida panhandle. We lost it in South Carolina, so there is something to be said about its durability."
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07-02-2020, 10:21 AM
Post: #7
RE: BREXIT complications
There is a side argument going on about the authenticity of this story and the writer but I'll ignore that for now.

The saga of the disgruntled Brexiteers continues a la Scheherazade of the Arabian Nights story -

Quote:He just sent me a message asking how far is it from my house to Brussels. I said about 850km. He then asked for the distance in miles as he, "Doesn't do French lengths".

There will be no more tweets today as I am taking my wife out to dinner tonight. I trust you all have a pleasant day and I will return tomorrow to give you updates on his journey. I know he has an early Eurostar crossing and will arrive in Paris mid morning. Good evening.

Some of the banter about authenticity -

Quote:One last tweet. (from the author)
To all the people saying I use a stock photo in my bio. Yes of course I bloody do, I write under a nom de plume so I'm hardly likely to use a real photo of me am I ?

(Random responses)
The more I read this, the more I think it must be some sort of indirect poe, but ultimately I don’t care: If it’s all true, it’s a beautiful schadenfreude-inducing story, and if it’s not, this is some top class writing. Either way, I await the next tweet with bated breath.

No, no, no. This must be true.
We spend 6 months each year in France and believe me, you'd be horrified and embarrassed at some of the things we hear from Brits.
It really beggars belief.

I'm French and I'm actually laughing out loud.

I hate to break it to you, but he'll want you to go to Brussels with him.

I know he shouldnt have to but I secretly hope he does go with him, if for no other reason than to continue this thread!

Is it just me or does this whole situation read like a previously undiscovered Oscar Wilde play? Regardless of how this resolves, they should def make this into some kind of short comedy film XD

ii’m thinking wodehouse. idiot son is like bertie wooster’s evil (or at least less well intentioned) twin.

Fun part of this whole story is that it looks like the majority of the EU wanted the UK to stay IN. The UK voted different and now it's our fault that we want to sign the divorce-papers...

I can't tell what would be the better option here.... Pitch this as a Brexit sitcom or a reality show called Brexit: The Aftermath. It would be a never-ending train wreck and schadenfreude. Huge ratings potential. The sitcom could be a road trip theme.... a Brit trying to go to Brussels to complain but somehow always ending up in the wrong place.

Mr Bean does Auf Wiedersehn Pet?

Thank you for sharing all of this. I and many of my friends are *living* for new episodes of “The Brexception Saga”, as I’ve started calling it.

"It's great Matt Canavan is selling Kodak cameras but the reality is the iPhone is coming"
- Matt Kean NSW Minister for Energy & Environment.
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07-02-2020, 12:17 PM (This post was last modified: 07-02-2020 12:18 PM by Di Wundrin.)
Post: #8
RE: BREXIT complications
Good take on it. They (we?) don't care if it's true, it's damned entertaining and that is enough.

I still think the Poms went the right way getting out of the EU. That road is inclining downwards at rapidly increasing grade. Europe is going to be a basket case and they're all still tied together, but drowning because you're tied to someone else is going to have an ugly effect.

Is Brussels going to pick up all the bills for the Countries it "rules"?? I think not. Would they have continued to drain the UK for top ups for European countries? Ohhh yes!

So a few Poms who intended to take UK pensions to spend in France having their plans go titsup is small price to pay for freedom from Brussels imho anyway.
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07-03-2020, 06:57 AM
Post: #9
RE: BREXIT complications
Sadly, controversy stirred up by the account of the idiot son etc has been withdrawn. We will now never here the ending to this entertaining saga.

Quote:Update on the fake account & its story about the stupid Leave voting family in France. Someone has connected it with previous fake accounts which also gulled credulous Remain folk. It bowed out, claiming death threats from Brexit supporters. Somehow I'm sceptical about that too.

"It's great Matt Canavan is selling Kodak cameras but the reality is the iPhone is coming"
- Matt Kean NSW Minister for Energy & Environment.
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07-03-2020, 10:48 AM
Post: #10
RE: BREXIT complications
Quote:claiming death threats from Brexit supporters.

Reeespect! Hell of an exit strategy! [Image: yellow-laughing-smiley-emoticon.gif]
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